Just as your computer needs a reboot on a regular basis, so does your own human operating system – your daily routines, practices, beliefs, and habits. Hitting the reset button will help you create alignment between your beliefs and habits and who you are today. When was the last time you reviewed your human OS to see if it was up to date? Here’s how to accomplish this reboot in three simple steps.
THE IMPACT OF BELIEFS & HABITS
As we grow and change, certain beliefs or habitual ways of being that used to work for us no longer serve us. We outgrow them or find that they hold us back. What you needed at one point in your life is different than what you need now. Maybe you can relate to some of these beliefs or habits that you may find yourself clinging to:
- “I have to be perfect” or “I can’t make a mistake.” The drive for perfectionism is often rooted in fear of looking foolish or being rejected by others.
- “I have to say yes to every request.” Moving through life as a people-pleaser can have a dark side when you get overextended and have too much on your plate. This can lead to serious burnout and is unsustainable.
- “Once everything on my to-do list is done, then I can relax.” Your work and personal to do list is endless. There will always be something on the horizon that requires your attention. But at some point, your to-do list will run you ragged if you are always “on.”
- “I can’t trust someone to do it right, so I’ll do it myself.” This is a combination of not trusting others and a drive for perfectionism. It can result in you being overly controlling of others and feeling burned out given a load of extra responsibility.
UNHELPFUL HABITS LEAD TO LEADERSHIP PROBLEMS
These beliefs hold us back both personally and professionally. I’ve seen many leadership coaching clients unknowingly carry personal beliefs into the workplace, which can have a negative impact on how they show up as leaders. Here are examples of personal beliefs that can result in less-than-desirable leadership behaviors:
- The perfectionistic leader requires absolute perfection from their team and calls them out if they make a mistake. This could lead to team members hiding their mistakes, which erodes trust and transparency.
- The people-pleaser leader doesn’t push back or say no to requests from their own leader or peers. This results in a larger-than-necessary workload for their team and can burn out their employees – who end up resenting their leader for not protecting their boundaries and work-life balance.
- The always-on leader can find themselves working 24/7. I hear complaints from team members whose bosses text them over the weekend regarding routine work matters that could have waited until Monday.
- The controlling leader has to be in charge at all times because they fear things not going according to their plan. Others on the team get the underlying unspoken message that they can’t be trusted to do good work. So they stop showing up and trying to contribute, knowing that the leader will ultimately do it their way anyhow.
3 STEPS TO REBOOT YOUR PERSONAL OPERATING SYSTEM
The process of rebooting your personal OS involves three key steps.
First, you must identify the core beliefs or habits that have become part of your internal operating system. These are what drive our automatic responses and behaviors. You have to slow down and observe yourself objectively in order to spot them. Some ways that can help you to do this are:
- Starting a daily meditation practice – you can use an app like Headspace or carve out five to 10 minutes a day for quiet mindfulness
- Practice yoga
- Go for a run or walk outside
- Engage in a solo pastime that gives you quiet time for contemplation: gardening, photography, cooking, painting, woodworking, etc.
- Journal on a regular basis
There are countless ways to slow your mind and get in touch with what’s going on inside. Experiment and find what works for you.
Second, ask yourself “How does this belief or way or being help me in my life today?” Like all things, there can be upsides and also downsides or unintended consequences attached to it. The positive side of a perfectionist is that they strive to do good quality work at all times. The negative or “dark side” is that they expend too much effort trying to do this and can set up a false right/wrong dichotomy.
For me personally, I relate as an “always on” type. Growing up, I saw my parents work all the time and rarely take time to just chill out. That was imprinted on me from a young age. I have questioned if that is the approach to life that I want. It’s challenging to shift such a monumental belief and I continue to work on this. But it’s only possible to shift and make a different choice for myself after I recognized that it was an outlook that I had internalized as part of my personal operating system.
Third, choose a new belief or habit that serves the person that you are today. That driven A-type personality may have served you in your early career or as you were building your business. But do you have to operate according to the “trust no one” model today? How will that help you grow your business if you can’t trust and empower the new leaders you’ve hired to help you succeed? How long will they stick around if you delegate assignments to them, only to jump in and do the work yourself time and again?
Rebooting your internal operating system involves creating intentional alignment between your thoughts/habits and WHO you are becoming. And more importantly, as a leader, this has a ripple effect on your team and in the world.