When people receive constructive feedback, they are not just processing the information but also what it means to them. Questions might run through their head like “Is this serious?” or “Am I in trouble?” Ideally, we want our feedback to result in meaningful change or a learning opportunity for them. Sometimes they learn and grow, but they can also shut down or act out.
Feedback can evoke strong emotional responses such as:
- Shame (“I’m not good enough”) or fear (of negative consequences) can result in attention shifting inward with the person focusing on self-protection.
- Guilt, regret, or frustration can keep the employee’s attention on what can be changed in the future and anchored in the task.
- Anger and gratitude can direct in emotions towards others in both positive and negative ways.
- Hope and pride are forward-looking emotions that sustain learning and keep people motivated to improve.
How the heck are you supposed to know as a manager which of these feelings will be stirred up as a result of your feedback? That’s a tall order. The authors of this Harvard Business Review article conducted research and found that effective leaders paid attention to the emotional response that their employees had. Specifically, they used these six techniques effectively:
- Activate guilt and regret without triggering shame.
- Reduce defensiveness by addressing fairness.
- Channel frustration into progress.
- Build hope and pride and reinforce progress.
- Pay attention to the emotional reactions that managers in your organization create.
- Ask themselves “Where did their attention go, and what emotion got them there?”
It turns out that paying attention to the emotional ripples after delivering feedback is just as important as taking time to prepare and deliver it clearly beforehand.
READ ARTICLE: For more detailed insights, check out the full Harvard Business Review article Great Leaders Know Which Emotions Their Feedback Will Trigger, by Bin Zhao, Fernando Olivera, and Amy C. Edmondson