The coaching process includes helping leaders to identify skills or behaviors that they want to develop, like employing a strategic mindset or communicating their vision with confidence. It’s easy for clients to jump in and adopt lofty development goals that may or may not be reasonable. It’s kind of like the New Year’s Resolution trap, where there’s a desire to improve one area of life (i.e. start jogging) and you end up signing up for a marathon!
That kind of pressure can make a small shift feel heavy. What if you approached it differently? Instead of making a firm commitment to change, try thinking of a new behavior as a simple experiment. Leaders I work with will test small things like pausing longer before responding, asking more curious questions, or delegating a task they might normally hold onto. If it’s an experiment, there’s no pass or fail. Instead, the end result will always be that you’ll gather information about what works and what doesn’t.
This same idea can be incredibly helpful in midlife, when people start wondering what might come next. It’s easy to feel like you’re supposed to have a clear plan or a new purpose figured out. Instead, think about trying new activities the same way you might test a new leadership habit. Take a class. Join a group. Try a hobby that has always appealed to you. Treat it as a short-term experiment rather than a lifelong commitment.
When we give ourselves permission to experiment, the pressure to perform or hit a goal fades away. Some experiments will stick and become meaningful parts of your life. Others won’t and that’s useful information too. Over time, these small trials help you identify what energizes you, what is truly meaningful, and what you might want more of in the future.