Many leaders assume that top talent leaves for higher pay or better opportunities, but research shows that a more critical factor is often at play: the feeling of not mattering. This concept was explored in a recent Harvard Business Review article by Zach Mercurio.
Take for example, Aiden, a high-performing nurse turned manager. His leaders ignored his ideas and he lacked meaningful conversations with them. This led him to feel unseen and unvalued despite his success. Eventually, he resigned—not because of money or job offers, but because he felt replaceable.
Psychologists call this experience “anti-mattering,” which leads employees to disengage or leave. The good news? Fostering a sense of mattering is within your control as a leader. To keep top talent engaged, leaders must ensure their employees feel noticed, affirmed, and needed. Here’s how:
Notice them:
- Regularly check in beyond work tasks—ask how they’re doing, not just what they’re doing.
- Be aware of changes in behavior or energy levels. Tools like a “stoplight check-in” (green = energized, yellow = struggling, red = overwhelmed) can help.
Affirm them:
- Go beyond generic praise—give specific, meaningful feedback. Instead of saying, “Great job,” describe what they did well and how it impacted the team.
- Acknowledge both contributions (what they do) and personal qualities (who they are).
Show them they’re needed:
- Connect their work to the bigger picture—help them see the impact they have on the team and organization.
- Use tangible examples and data when possible (e.g., “Your contributions increased engagement by 20%”).
The best leaders don’t just tell employees they matter—they show them every day. Creating a culture where people feel valued doesn’t require big programs or incentives; it starts with small, intentional actions. By helping employees feel noticed, affirmed, and needed, leaders can retain their top talent, increase engagement, and build a workplace where high performers want to stay.